Welcome to the no-leering zone. You've been rolled. Thank you for coming. Have a great day. We're going to talk about our coach.

Yes, the lawyers were busy during the day yesterday. And hey, it's December. Time for school concerts (yes, even homeschoolers have concerts) and Christmas parties and stuff. So I'm behind. Way.

The press conference has pretty much already been unpacked by everyone, so let me just throw a couple more pennies on the pile.

• I thought Lane Kiffin looked really nervous. Shoot, they were probably already thinking Deliverance, and the thought of his wife on the stage and John Adams in the front row had to be unnerving. He did get into the swing of things eventually, though, and I liked him. No reading a typed statement, just talking points. I think that equates to confidence and hints at a less conservative approach to things generally. Not concerned about making a mistake or saying the wrong thing. I like it.
• Poking fun at Mike Hamilton. Also good. Not just the "Mike told me to say that about Florida" part, but also the "He's really down on me right now" part after mentioning for the second time, I think, that Tennessee didn't need to build anything else from a recruiting standpoint. Having a sense of humor is good, especially on the fly. Note this, though, too. That first statement shows that Hamilton had a part in the creation of the talking points. It's just good sense to get as many brains together as you can on that type of thing, especially because Hamilton knows better than Kiffin what the fans want to hear. But still, how much was Kiffin and how much was Hamilton? No way to know.
• Not needing to build anything else. Good, too. It shows legitimate excitement over the product he's about to sell to recruits all over the nation. Go into a kids' living room and tell him that you know both the facilities at Southern Cal and the ones at Tennessee and tell them that Tennessee beats all? Very good.
• Go interview everybody else first. Yes. Initially, I thought this was just chest-thumping, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized was underneath it all. Hamilton was likely going to do that anyway, but by saying it then, he can say now that he said it then. It not only shows confidence, but more importantly it deflates to some degree an argument now that Hamilton bought an impulse item on his way to the dairy section.
• Al Davis. Pretty gracious here, I think, thanking him for giving him an opportunity to be a head coach in the NFL.
• Releasing current staff members. Tough work. Got it out of the way quickly. Said nice things about them at the press conference. It wasn't them, they were just meeting at the crossroads.
• Honoring Fulmer. It's a requirement for the incoming coach, but he seemed genuine enough.
• First item of new business: recruiting. I can only talk to y'all for 45 minutes, then I'm on a plane to Memphis. Great. Go!
• Working guys into the system. I really like the idea of devoting spring to auditioning the current guys and reserving much of the fall for auditioning the incoming players. The recruiting pitch it gives you is great, and I'd never thought about it that way. At some point in the fall, though, you need to assemble the team and get it ready to play, so I hope the audition doesn't drag on too long in the fall. Also, I hope it doesn't disincentivize the current players over the summer.
• Patience, my new friends. Patience. This is very good. Of course, it won't be honored, or it won't seem like it's being honored, but saying it buys him some time to get the staff assembled. I agree with hooper, who says this likely means that Monte is in fact on board, and they just can't make it official until his season is over.
• No promises. More expectations management. It doesn't always work, but it almost always helps. It reminded me of Bruce Pearl's continual harping on the "process." Don't worry about setting a goal to win a game next fall. That's foolishness. Focus instead on being better tomorrow than you were today and that win will take care of itself.
• "Thanking" the former players. Shrewd way of mentioning his endorsements. If Peyton No Last Name is for him, who can be against him?

All in all, I ranked it as a Triple on the post-press conference poll. We haven't scored, but it's setting up nicely.

I won't be able to be around, but you should be able to watch the press conference here at 2:00 EST. Leave your knee-jerk reactions below.

Quickly this morning because my alarm didn't go off when it was supposed to . . .

• So we've given a Final Tribute to The Papa and Drawn the Curtain on His Final Act as a Tennessee Volunteer. If you missed the Phillip Fulmer show this weekend, find a replay this week and do not miss it. Fantastic stuff the entire hour. Ever wonder what the story is with that guy in the leg braces who runs out after every kickoff to get the tee? Watch the show and find out. It's a terrific story and yet another insight into the Phillip Fulmer we never knew.
• So it's on to the future, but not just yet because I heard Jimmy Hyams say Sunday morning that UT had in fact talked to Mike Leach by phone about replacing Phillip Fulmer. Reportedly, Leach wanted to wait until after the Baylor game (this past weekend) to do a full interview. Tennessee didn't want to wait. If that's true, and if that's the only factor, then shame on them. Regarding Brian Kelly, he was apparently pushing for the job early until it looked like Notre Dame might come open, so Tennessee backed off at that point.
  
• So now it's on to the future . . . Lane Kiffin's our next coach, and we'll get our first look at him in orange this afternoon at 2:00. Who's he bringing with him? ESPN says his father Monte, defensive coordinator with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers is coming, but Mr. SEC says it's not a done deal. Wouldn't it seem weird, though, that he'd give up $2M per year in the pros to go to the same position in college for much less money? But hey, whatever the reason, the architect of the Tampa 2 would be great. I guess, I mean, I'd sorta need to figure out exactly what the Tampa 2 is before I say that, huh? Hey, if a defensive scheme has its own nickname, it must be  . . . never mind. Question: what happened to the Tampa 1? Is 2 an upgrade, and if so, is it like a Microsoft upgrade? If so, how do I set up Automatic Updates for necessary patches?
  
• Aaannd . . . folks are talking like Ed Orgeron is coming, too, for recruiting. Yaw, yaw, yaw, but huh? Why would he leave a job as a position coach for the NFL to become a recruiting coordinator in college? If Monte's really the DC, where's that leave Ed? Notice how your impression of Oregeron changes completely when you call him Ed. Anyway, questions, questions, questions.
• And finally, so . . . coach Kiffin and Company, welcome to Rocky Top! You've already done the dirty work, releasing most of the current staff, and had the requisite team meeting. After you get your staff filled out, Job One is this: RECRUIT ERIC BERRY. This guy is your team leader next year. He will follow you because you're his coach and he's that kind of guy, but the degree to which he is sold out for you will be mirrored by the remainder of the team. Job Two: shore up our recruiting class for this year.

	November 30, 2008 7:30 EST TV: ESPN2 Radio: Vol Network Phone Broadcast: TeamLine Live Stats: ???
No. 12 (AP) No. 12 (USA Today)		No. 9 (AP) No. 10 (USA Today)

Jackson the Mule says . . .

. . . what's up with all the canines in this tournament?

Leave your pre-, in-, and post-game thoughts below.

Go Vols! Hulk smash yet another canine!

Above all else, the greatest thing about sports is that it is unscripted entertainment. Competitors are cast together on the same stage with the director insisting from the shadows only that each is to attempt to achieve his own success by depriving the other of his. Often the impromptu drama in live sporting events rivals that of award-winning scripts designed by their very nature to lead you through an emotional gamut from status quo to conflict to denouement.

But if the unscripted nature of live contests is their strength, it is also their weakness. Often the hero fails. Often the villain wins. Too often the curtain closes with the audience looking quizzically at each other and saying, "Maaaaan. It should not have ended that way."

Yet it's precisely the unknowable ending that makes a positive conclusion all the more satisfying. There was really no reason for Vol fans to believe that their team would win its last game of the season, no real basis for believing that the players would be able to put together an entire game that would actually give them a real opportunity to douse Phillip Fulmer with Gatorade one last time or to carry him off the field with the honor he deserves.

But there it was, the happy ending. Coach Fulmer smiling. Gerald Jones and Jonathan Crompton racing straight for him as the clock cleared to zeroes so that they could have their opportunity to embrace him and tell him again how much he means to them. A host of players dumping the Gatorade over his back. A bigger host of players in the colors of both schools huddled together at midfield with Fulmer telling Erin Andrews and ESPN to just hold their money-grubbing horses for a second because we're gonna have our prayer -- it's Tradition, don't you know. Fulmer then answering the inane questions with all of the class and honor and integrity you have come to expect from him, saying not that the administration was wrong -- although he surely believes that they were -- or that his record suggests that he should have been given an opportunity to remedy the problems with the offense -- although he most certainly believes that it does -- but remarking simply that he "will always be a Vol."

And then there were Ramon Foster and Anthony Parker heaving Fulmer on their shoulders and carrying him off the field in a moving mass of welling-eyed, 200- and 300-pound players in a manner fitting a man who has devoted his entire career to the betterment of the Tennessee Volunteer football program. And there was that man, who had struggled against anger and tears three weeks ago, now riding high on the shoulders of his beloved players, smiling from ear to ear, carrying the game ball high and tight, just like he always taught his players whether they listened to him or not.

The curtain has closed. The house lights have lit. Perhaps it should not have ended this season, this game.

But regardless of whether it should have ended at that time, there can be no doubt that it should have ended that way.